Finding Redemption by Emilia Finn

Author:Emilia Finn [Finn, Emilia]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2017-10-19T16:00:00+00:00

Eighteen

Tink

Wash Away Your Troubles

My heart booms in my chest as I walk up the footpath to Jon’s house, then as I stand at the front door and argue with myself about whether I should knock or just use the key I still have.

I doubt he’d mind, but I don’t feel right just letting myself in. Things are different now. He’s not my Leo anymore. And I’m not his Sunshine.

A real best friend wouldn’t have deserted him the way I did, no matter the circumstances that led to it.

I acknowledge that I was hurt, but he didn’t even have that chance. I blamed him for something he didn’t even know he did.

I bring my hand up to knock, knowing that he needs me tonight. Or perhaps simply hoping. Iz is at Bobby’s house, so I know he’s all alone.

If I know anything about him, I know he needs some light tonight. I can help him, and I can firmly lock my heart away from him and brick a wall up in front of it.

I know better this time.

“Yeah, there’s someone at my door--” Jon murmurs into his phone as he swings the door wide, then his eyes lock onto mine and his body stills.

The brown of his eyes is almost watery, the emotion floating at the top and I swallow hard. I’ve missed him so much.

“Sonia, I gotta go. I’ll call you tomorrow.” Jon ends his call and shoves his phone into his back pocket. He continues to stare at me, waiting for me to speak, but I’m just concentrating on not crying and begging for his forgiveness.

I want his friendship back.

I clear my throat, feeling nerves I’ve never before felt around him. “Hey Jon.”

His brows furrow as he silently watches me, as his eyes flick across my face, then a quick swipe down my body, then back to my face. “Casey.”

His words are so cold.

“Are you okay?”

“Where’d you go?”

I feel my stomach flip even as I try to deflect. “I was just at home, but I wanted to see--”

Jon shakes his head, instantly cutting through my bullshit. “No. Where’d you go six months ago?”

“Jon,” I sigh, knowing I’m a terrible friend. “I’m sorry. I just… needed space.”

“You needed space?” His chocolate eyes slice right through me, nicking my heart and letting me bleed. “You needed space from me?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Did I do something wrong?”

You impregnated me and you didn’t even know it. And worst of all, I never told him. A man deserves to know. “No. I just got caught up with work, and Kit being hurt, then she got engag--” Pathetic excuses. I’m passing the blame to my other best friend. I’m such an asshole. “No. You did nothing, Jon. I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry.”

“Are you back?”

I swallow hard. “Do you want me back?”

Jon’s eyes shutter, like he’s fighting an invisible pain. “I never wanted you to go, Sunshine. I haven’t slept in six months.”

He wounds me so deeply. “I’m sorry.”

“Were you seeing someone else?”

“Someone else? You and I weren’t--”

“No,” Jon sighs.

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